perhaps it is best to start here: open your calendar on your phone and tap to 2016, then start scrolling up, so that the years fly up and out of sight (a decade at a time). sooner or later you will find yourself in the vicinity of an average life span, and realize you might be hovering above the  day of your demise. then check your pulse, and acknowledge that although you feel queasy, you still don't quite believe it's true: that this, all this, could end.

perhaps, then it would be a good time to think how much "advance notice" would be required to live your life in a way that takes this detail into account. 3 weeks? 6 months? 17 years? 

it's worth asking yourself the question, even while you dread the answer. perhaps this little mind game will help you. or perhaps if won't.

either way, I hope you can taste the berried hands, and smell the hard sweat and see the faces of those that plucked the beans, shipped them around the world, these beans that miraculously wound up in your kitchen: now roasted, and ground and poured, and steaming as your raise the cup (to one in particular), with a slight tremor of things to come, and more grateful for things past, and just a little more present right now, at 10:14am, April 30th, 2016.